“I like saying things that are both repetitive and repetitive. But I never repeat an I love you. I repeat: I never repeat an I love you.”

“I never stopped loving you. I never did. I never loved you, not: I never did stop loving you.”

“At my bachelor party I had Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer” play on repeat, while I enjoyed the spectacle of a midget stripper dressed like jet fuel (Rocket Man).”

“I didn’t hear what was said, but I laughed, because I was too embarrassed to embarrass him by breaking up his punch line and laughter by asking him to repeat it.”

“With my wedding photography business, I want repeat customers. So hooray for divorce! That’s why I take lots of pictures—of cheating spouses.”

“The proper response to “I love you” is never “what, when, where, why, and how,” no matter how sincerely you say it.”

“In 1,000 pages of Orafoura’s novel, I noticed he repeated one word twice. It really stood out to me. The word? Sit.”