“I once saw a politician walking a dog, and I thought, “How absurd—an animal walking an animal.” Then I thought, “If given the choice, I’d rather vote for the dog.”

“I ran over some dog poop on my drive home last night. But I didn’t feel bad, because I didn’t vote for that particular politician.”

“When I walk my dog, people always ask if we’re twins.”

“Orafoura was yelling at his dog (not a German shepherd) in German, and I thought, “I didn’t realize dogs can speak German.”

“Two guys, a man and a beast, were walking underwater, when two goats began fishing for political votes. That’s when I fell in love, when I saw how serious it all was.”

“I used to think that Satan and all the fallen angels were the most evil beings in the universe. Now I think it’s absurd and naïve to think that. Oh, Satan exists, but he’s a puppy dog compared to politicians and lobbyists.”

“I inherited a pound from my British uncle. I’d have rather gotten a dollar, because what do I want with an animal shelter?
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