“I ought to fire one of my two employees into the other one’s asshole.”

“I can guess which car my boss drives. I’ll just look for the one with the hole in the back, like an asshole.”

“Bosses are like assholes—everybody’s got one. Well, everyone except the unemployed. But still, bosses are like assholes, in that they are assholes.
”

“Clone One’s last name will be Martz. Clone Two I’ll call Martinez.”

“I hired a counterfeiter the other day. I told him, “As for your salary, how much you make is really up to you.” I love a business model where the employee pays the employer.”

“My clone will have my mind, but I don’t mind. Two heads are better than one—especially when those two are one and the same.”

“I just got around to brushing my teeth today, and now my asshole smells minty fresh.”