“I told her I'd rather talk about her, instead of listening to her drone on about the weather. Little did I know she was an aspiring meteorologist.”

“The topic of weather isn’t small talk, when you’re conversing with a meteorologist.”

“She had an ass behind her that went on for days. In fact, I’m still talking about her.”

“After dinner I wanted to talk to her about buying a clone. But that’s probably just too much for her to handle, especially since she herself is a clone, and I murdered the original of her. You’d think she’d be grateful, the unoriginal bitch.”

“I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who'd give me a ride home.”

“She asked if I wanted to spoon with her, and I told her I didn’t want to stir things up.”

“A kiss involves two people, so I not only have to think about me for me, I have to think about me for her, her for her, and her for me.”