“I'd like to see a flag made not out of stars and stripes, but rather fingers and knuckles, so that it could really wave in the wind. It would be the most welcoming flag in all the world.”

“I drew the outline of a flag blowing in the wind. I decided to leave it an outline, because that made it look like the empty symbol I hold it to be. There's no hiding behind a see-through flag.”

“The flag was waving in the wind. Now whether it was waving hello or goodbye, I do not know.”

“A zebra has stripes, the American flag has stripes, and I have an erection. Coincidence?”

“If I had a necklace made out of tiny suns, I’d only wear it at night when you could really see it. Sadly, I don’t have a necklace like that. The closest thing I have is a necklace made out of those glow in the dark stars you stick to bedroom ceilings. But I only wear that on special occasions, like bedtime. 
”

“If taxis were patriotic symbols, I’d flag one down on the Fourth of July.”

“If instead of having ten fingers, I had ten combs for fingers, I'd love to meet Donald Trump, just so I could run my fingers through his hair.”