“If I promise you I'll show up fifteen minutes late, I'll always arrive on time.”

“My reputation precedes me. It shows up about fifteen minutes before I do, eats, and then leaves without paying or tipping.”

“I am going to think of you every time I don't have sex. So that'll mean I'll always be thinking of you.”

“The essence of courage is timing. Take me, for example. I’ll show up to fight anybody, anywhere. I’ll just show up a day late.”

“I was nine minutes late for my last birthday party. And I was nine months on time for my first birthday.”

“I fell in love with her the moment she was late, though neither one of us knew it at the time because she hadn’t arrived yet.”

“How to arrive unexpectedly and invisibly: show up looking poor, but not homeless.”