“If somebody’s a jerk and says something nasty, be a bigger jerk and say something kind and walk away.”

“It’s better to say something too little, than nothing too much.”

“When I say something, I mean what I say, despite what a dictionary says I mean. Meanings of words are slaves that I put to work constructing my pyramids of thought.”

“The sign said don’t do it, so naturally I did it. Signs are always saying stuff in a silent way.
 Writing is a way to say something in a silent way.”

“I’ve always wanted to send a message in a bottle, with my message saying something like, “Don’t litter.”

“I want to say something so embarrassing about September that even the leaves start blushing and turning red.”

“A lawyer, a politician, and a prostitute walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.” And I’d have to agree. Serves them right for being so sleazy.”