“I’m in danger of losing my job as official scribe to my inner voice.”

“My job is so boring I’m thinking of boring a second hole into my penis.”

“Not only am I thinking about getting a nose job, but I’m also trying to get employment for the rest of my face.”

“My favorite flower lost its voice, and through aroma therapy and the assistance of both my nostrils, I’m trying to help it get it back.”

“When my internal voice goes external, and I’m in a noisy crowd, I can hardly hear myself think.”

“I’m big on body language. If you give me the air hand job gesture, I might try to stick my dick in your closed, circular hand.”

“I fear one day I’ll get a knock at my front door, and I’ll answer it to find myself standing there. Then I’ll hear myself say, “Hi, I’m from the future, and I’m here to destroy you.” But that is irrational. The future me isn’t out to destroy me, because the me of my past already did a thorough job demolishing my present and possible future.”