“John Wilkinson invented the horizontal boring machine, and what a boring machine it was! In fact, it’s so boring that I think I’ll go to sleep now.”

“My job is so boring I’m thinking of boring a second hole into my penis.”

“I invented an invisible machine to help you get to sleep. It only works after your eyes stay shut for a length of time. It’s also so quiet that you won’t hear it.”

“I need your compliments to feed my ego, because it’s bored of mac and cheese. And honestly, so am I.”

“If you catch me talking in my sleep, your conversation bored me.”

“I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future.”

“I am the washing machine of love. And if you have no idea what I mean, maybe it’s time to let some laundry into your life.”