“Love is like a door knob that I’ve mistaken for a shower handle, and I’m trying to turn up the heat on our relationship, but the handle won’t turn and I’ve got shampoo in my eyes and my wetsuit is dry and I started crying just as the zookeeper asked me to leave.”

“The situation is a coffee mug, and I’ve got a handle on it.”

“My grandma came over yesterday, and I had just jumped out of the shower, so I answered the door in my towel. I know it was a little indecent, but I didn’t have time to dry off and change out of my wetsuit.”

“The door handle is on the wrong side of the door. It’s on the inside only, only in my dreams. I can leave, but I can’t return.”

“I won’t pick up your bad habits. They look heavy and I’ve got a bad back. Plus, I have my own bad habits already.”

“If instead of a handshake you hold out a fist for a fist bump, I’ll wrap my hand around your fist like it was a circular shower handle, and toggle between hot and cold a few times. But I won’t get naked for you.”

“I’m going to Australia. But first I’ve got to put on my swimming suit and stretch.”