“Love is like whoa! Actually, it's closer to woe.”

“Being in love is like being lit on fire and having your loved one morph into a marshmallow as she runs to embrace you. But not being in love feels so much worse, possibly like being a tax collector. Actually, nothing compares to the lowliness of a tax collector.
”

“From afar they looked like sexy legs, until I got closer and saw they belonged to a man, not an Amanda.”

“It's easy to say I love you, but much harder to show it. Be bold. Be in love—and show it. Love is like writing—show, don’t tell.”

“Cats are like walking brooms you can actually comfortably cuddle with.”

“Love is like a blanket: it will keep you warm, but it might also suffocate you. Also, it's probably covered with cat hair—love, I mean.”

“I used to think I knew what love was, but here recently it has been revealed to me that what I thought was love, was actually lasagna. Still, I cling to my maxim: love is tasty.”