“Love means the world to me. But so does a globe.
”

“In the throes of passion, I threw out an I love you. Did I mean it? Does a dictionary mean what it says?”

“I’m world famous. Throughout the globe—north, south, east, and west—there are literally four people who know my name. It’s great to have all four grandparents still living, and widely dispersed around the world.”

“Vegetables come from the ground. So does my love. Eat it raw.”

“Columbus was born around 1492. I say around because before that the world was flat. My stomach also used to be flat, but now it looks like a globe is about to be born.”

“I asked if I could draw on her face, because not only was her head globe-shaped, but her nose was shaped like Italy. My love knows no boundaries.”

“I have so much love that it could stretch around the world’s largest dick. But so what? Bernanke’s belt does that every day.”