“My dreams and ambitions kept me company on the way there, and despair and regret were passengers on my return trip. I should have ridden a horse and not bothered with all that.”

“A brick could make everything better for me. Now, if I could only find a way to get my hands on one. But it’s a silly dream, because I don’t have the ambition to get out from under my blanket and go out and grab the very thing I most desire. 
”

“Do I look like someone you know? Well you don’t know me, so why don’t you go bother my clone? And if you do see my clone, tell him I should have made an omelet out of him when I had the chance.”

“My eyes were blurry from being in love, and my feelings were as furry as Bigfoot. I thought I spotted Her, the women of my dreams, but the other cryptozoologists thought I was hallucinating. They chided me saying, “If there is no picture, there is no proof.”

“If a woman asked me how far I’d go on a first date, my reply would be 69 miles. Round trip, not one way.”

“The door handle is on the wrong side of the door. It’s on the inside only, only in my dreams. I can leave, but I can’t return.”

“Yesterday was my last day at work. My coworkers were so sad they all pitched in and bought me a one-way ticket to Seattle, and a bottle of cyanide in case I get thirsty.”