“My stomach’s upset. I must have accidentally said something to insult it.”

“I am upset. I have reservations about dinner for two at 8:00. I have reservations about my reservations.”

“I killed a flea this morning. I may have been a bit overzealous, because I accidentally killed the cat too.”

“When someone I admire turns out to be a rather normal guy, I get offended because it’s an insult to my jealousy.”

“And out came an insult with the velocity of a whisper. But I could see I offended, so I zipped up my pants and left the wedding reception.”

“I think you know if you disappeared from my life I’d be upset, but ultimately I’d make myself a new invisible cloak, to replace the one you stole.”

“In my view, a Cyclops is halfway to being blind. Love sees all. When someone insults me and I go silent, I’m in Helen Keller mode. Listen!”