“Science doesn’t listen. Science has mice growing out of its ears. Wait, I mean human ears growing out of its mice.”

“I like how cats’ ears can flip inside out. It’s as if they’re saying, Keep talking, human, but I’m not even listening.”

“Dear cat, your ears are flipped inside out, so I know you’re not listening to a word I’m not saying.”

“Maybe I could hear better if my ears weren’t flipped inside out. Unlike a cat’s ears, you can’t tell mine are flipped over. But they must be, because I only seem to listen to myself.
”

“I want to scrape earwax out of your ears like the last of the chunky peanut butter in a jar. I’d love it if you ate one of my world famous Listening Sandwiches.”

“I hate noise pollution. Get that filthy soda can out of my ear!”

“My beard has started growing a beard of its own, and I’m stuck having to take it for a walk.”