“See men run. Semen swim.”

“With your fertile eggs, and my semen, we’d make a delicious omelet.”

“At the bar, I asked her what she’d like to drink, hoping she’d reply, “Your semen.”

“If my semen had chunks of crumbled brick in it, would you use yogurt to try to impregnate your fireplace? 
”

“I wish to report an attempted murder—on my clone. Someone tried to drink my semen out of beaker number two.”

“It is Father’s Day today. I should probably call all three of mine and say Hello, and thanks for possibly pumping my mom with the winning batch of semen.”

“The ultimate gift is the gift of life. Please, accept this jug of semen as a present from me to you. And don’t worry about sharing—I’ve got another one for your mother.”