“Sleep: to see and do, and do nothing.”

“The cause isn’t worth getting up for, but it is worth sleeping for. Just trying to do my part to help humanity.”

“Insider trading is a serious crime. Do you know what the penalty for doing it is? Nothing, if you’re a member of Congress.
”

“Sunday nights I get about two inches of sleep. But I make do, because that’s all the erection I can muster.”

“A brick could be used to represent no, and a blanket could be used to represent yes. If I ask you, “Will you sleep with me?” I expect you to run to the bedroom, get naked, and get under the blanket. Whatever you do, do not reach for the brick.
”

“I saw an old guy sleeping, and I thought he was dead. But I kept checking his pockets for money, because it seemed like the right thing to do.”

“If I can delay your action with my inaction, then I’ll gladly do nothing for the good of the no good.”