“Sometimes I ask myself, "Do I have the courage to do the right thing when it matters most?" And that answer, I'm afraid, is silence.”

“I sometimes lie awake at night wishing I had all the answers. But I guess only God has all of them, while I only have one answer: I do. Now I just have to wait for the perfect question to use it on.”

“I asked myself a question, but I wouldn’t answer, because it was too personal. I wish I had a clone, so he could answer for me.”

“I can scratch “scratch myself” off my list of things to do.”

“I’m a logician. No matter how wrong I am, I can always convince myself I am right.”

“People ask me all the time, “Jarod, how come you are so much more romantic than anybody else?” And I say, “Simple. I have brains, heart, courage, and most importantly, I have ruby red slippers.”

“I can do what Olympians couldn’t do. Of course they couldn’t do it because they were infants when I picked a moment in time to compare myself to them.”