“Spain is 4/5ths pain and 1/5th S. I drank that fifth, and I loved S.”

“I think the most romantic letter you ever gave me was “W,” because it’s a couple of soul mate “V”s. Or maybe they were a couple of letters of the same sex engaging in a homosexual relationship. A “W” is two “V”s in a civil union, but the world is not ready to flip that on its head and let them go for the big “M.”

“The best date I’ve ever been on was March 5th, 1982, the year I was born. For as long as I live, I’ll never forget that date.
”

“I talked to him on Christmas, and again on March 5th. Neither one of us hung up the phone that whole time.”

“I only know I was born on March 5th because someone told me. I don’t remember myself. So it’s fact based on secondhand information and trust.”

“I wanted to sip my daily Starbucks coffee as I got to work early (no later than 11:00 am), have a late lunch (1:00-4:00), and work late (5:01) every day (except Thursdays and Fridays). I wanted a life so good even Scarface would want to scarf it up.”

“I’m a competitor. I once placed fifth in a bottle of whiskey.”