“The coast is clear. Not a beached whale in sight.”

“Sometimes I put on a black scuba suit and go walking on the beach, to relax. If I could, I’d sleep in a scuba suit—on a waterbed. Not that I actually ever get in the ocean. Too many dangerous things in the water, like barracudas, sharks, and of course there are many lawyers here on the east coast.”

“Sometimes writing is easy. Other times it’s as hard as trying to eat a whole whale, after the whale has just eaten you.”

“Standing in cat litter is not the same as walking on the beach. Trust me, you can’t pee on the beach.”

“I live in Florida, and when people ask how close to the beach I am, I say, “Twelve minutes or twelve hours. Depends on which beach you want to go to.”

“I met her at the beach. Her name was Shelly.”

“I don’t sleep naked, because that’s not proper beach etiquette.”