“The difference between me and a scientist is a little word called “Science.” I don’t believe in it. Science has yet to validate my disbelief in Bigfoot.”

“Science, where would scientists be without it? They’d probably still be in my basement, where I left them a few minutes ago.”

“I am not the monster you think I am. No, I am an entirely different monster. I'm sort of like a mixture between Bigfoot and a shaved beaver.”

“In my laboratory, I use science to measure love. Whatever you do, don’t drink out of beaker number two.”

“Science doesn’t listen. Science has mice growing out of its ears. Wait, I mean human ears growing out of its mice.”

“The fields of science are full of crop circles that can't yet be explained by scientific means.”

“You want to tell me what this is? she asked as she gabbed my erection. “A miracle of science,” I replied.”