“The other day I woke up to find my girlfriend already gone from the house, and a sticky note on the fridge that said, "I love you." "Oh my God," I thought. "Somebody's obsessed with me, and they kidnapped my girlfriend just to get closer to me.”

“Have you tried this shrimp? It's freaking amazing.Would you get away from me? I hate you.You're so moody. Just because I kidnapped you and tried to force you to be my girlfriend. I thought you would be over that by now.”

“Happiest day of my life when my dad made him human. (Devyn)Happy for you, bonebag…It cost me my girlfriend. (Vik)It was a lamp, Vik, not a girlfriend. (Devyn)I really loved that lamp. She lit up my entire world. (Vik)”

“I think your girlfriends getting Jealous," Luce said, gesturing at the pair."Which one?" He asked."I didn't realise they were both your girlfriends.""Neither is my girlfriend. I meant, which one did you think was my girlfriend?”

“I just broke up with my girlfriend. My wife will be pleased. But first she’ll be displeased, because she didn’t know I had a girlfriend.”

“...I wondered if I'd ever be so lucky to have a girlfriend I'd grow old with, a girlfriend who knew my secrets, my fears, my hopes-- and loved me anyway.”