“The situation is a coffee mug, and I’ve got a handle on it.”
“Have faith, Ed, all right?'I search the coffee mug, but there's none in there.”
“Love is like a door knob that I’ve mistaken for a shower handle, and I’m trying to turn up the heat on our relationship, but the handle won’t turn and I’ve got shampoo in my eyes and my wetsuit is dry and I started crying just as the zookeeper asked me to leave.”
“I took a fresh mug of coffee. Grilling grieving families always goes down better with caffeine.”
“Quiet night. Silence at full capacity. Noiselessness is spilling over like a coffee cup full of jock cock. In a contact sport I’ve got to protect my genitals.”
“She? You’re not one of those people who name their cars and coffee mugs, are you? It’s an inanimate object. Get over it.”