“Today is 8-9-10. August, 9, 2010. So hooray for Chronologically Ascending Day!”

“It’s hard to wear a Speedo and pose with an erection. Still, I’ve got to try, every Saturday from 9 am to 8:59 pm.”

“I don't want to work a 9-5 job, because 20 hours a day is just too much.”

“I’m halfway to being a father. Not 4.5 months out of 9, but ½ of a mating ritual.”

“Like a 9-5 business at 4:59 pm, her legs were open.”

“When someone insults me, I simply shut down. Then I open back up at 9 am the next morning.”

“For your birthday, I got you a box. Hooray! It’s empty, so you can fill it with whatever you want.”