“Too bad Americans can’t export Awesome, because I have boxes and boxes of the stuff just lying around in my attic.”

“In my closet I have boxes and boxes of secrets. These boxes are all empty, and that’s how you know they’re filled with secrets.”

“I’m not courageous. In fact, when I shadow box I wear boxing gloves that are outfitted with flashlights.”

“I bought you a box of karate chops, but it could be dangerous to open it with a knife. And cats are masters at getting into boxes, so here, try opening it with my portable meow maker.
”

“I’ve often wondered why boxing gloves are bright red. If I were a boxer, I’d wear camouflage colored boxing gloves so my opponent would never see my punches coming.”

“I once met a man who couldn't think outside of the box. So one day, while he was thinking, I taped the box shut and mailed him to Maine. UPS reported that the box was missing, so I guess he's still lost in thought.”

“If you’re going to hit on me, please wear boxing gloves. I get it though, because when I’m dancing it looks like I’m fighting. In the face of violence, I’m just that gentle and sensual.”