“Trying to learn body language in a week is like trying to master Polish in 20 hours. And come on, Polish would take at least 24 hours to conquer.”

“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.
”

“I think we should change the amount of time in each day. Sunday thru Friday should be reduced from 24 hours down to ten minutes, and Saturday would become a 167-hour day. That way, when people ask me what I did all week I could truthfully respond, "I slept all week. But I got a hell of a lot done on Saturday.”

“The only equality that exists on earth is time. We all have exactly 24 hours in a day. How we choose to spend those hours is what separates us.”

“When anybody asks me what time it is, I always say, “Yesterday, plus 24 hours.”

“I don't want to work a 9-5 job, because 20 hours a day is just too much.”

“I want to meet the girl of my dreams, and then immediately try to sleep with her—for between six to eight hours.”