“Vacation, I go there in my mind. Especially when I’m at work, getting paid for it.”

“I’m going on vacation, and I’m leaving my clone in charge. I’ll be gone, but I’ll be here.”

“In hospitality, people vacation where you live. And so when I stay home from work it’s like a double vacation.”

“I like using scented markers. Especially when I’m trying to color the inside of my nostrils.”

“I want to be the world’s safest fashion designer. And I always wear my seatbelt, especially when I’m in the car.”

“The closer I get, the faster I have to go. Otherwise, I might be late to the very place where I’m not even expected. Adding to my tardiness is the fact that I don’t even know where I’m going. And I can’t get from here to there when I don’t even know where I am, let alone where I’m going. All I know is I’m going fast, but not fast enough.”

“My clone will have my mind, but I don’t mind. Two heads are better than one—especially when those two are one and the same.”