“We all make mistakes. Some just manufacture them in a factory and sell them to the public.”

“Every man has a soul, but will every man’s clone have a soul? No, because me and some scientists will have sucked them out in the lab. Why sell your soul to the devil, when you can sell your clone’s soul?”

“I had to stop selling stick-figure portraits of women at the beach, after too many customers complained I was making them look “too fat.”

“A blanket could be used to sell two-legged tables to one-legged men. This very same blanket could also teach them some Latin—specifically the phrase “Caveat Emptor.”
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“The best way to sell a car is to first try to sell them an airplane, then a horse, and then finally bring up the newest model automobile you have for sale.”

“We’ll make plans on sticky notes and we’ll stick to them. We’ll get married, but only after we buy some milk, cereal, and a book of baby names.”

“Instead of selling other countries weapons, we should sell them candles. Maybe then instead of singing the praises of war, they’d start singing Happy Birthday. And I don’t know anybody, not even my bully of an uncle, Uncle Sam, who wants to start a fight during that song.”