“What’s next to my bed? One night stand, though personally I find them morally outrageous, not to mention the danger from STDs.”

“How can I clearly see what’s wrong with someone else, and then look at myself as though I’m standing in front of a fogged mirror?
”

“In the morning I brush my teeth with hope, and at night before bed I brush them with defeat. Both are mint flavored, so I try not to get them mixed up.
”

“I make art for one person and one person only. And as soon as I find that one person, I sure hope he has a lot of wall space, because he’ll be getting a lot of art from me.”

“What’s with the zombie craze? Zombies are half alive, half dead, right? Sounds like my wife in bed.”

“We have no secrets from each other, though sometimes I wish some things were more hidden. What’s more transparent than invisible?”

“A brick and a blanket aptly describe my former roommate. He was as dumb as a brick, and only highly functional on a bed. Or so I heard—not that I’d know from personal experience.
”