“I just sliced and diced a Burmese python while you were busy growling at the universe, fuzz bucket.”

“I didn't move for probably ten more minutes. I wasn't sure if I could. If I moved, I just might shatter.”

“I'll be damned if I act like a mouse, you overgrown tomcat.”

“But of course, instead of saying something honest like Yes, bitch, it hurts, Damon just shrugged.”

“You know, I'm terribly pleased to hear you're barking and snarling when you think some tramp is sending you sexy little surprises," she teased. "But since I'm the tramp...can you maybe come in the room?"-Alexis to her husband”

“I wasn't human enough to die easily.”

“Child, you suffer from an excess of great stupidity or great bravery. I'm not sure which.”