“Okay, rule number one: if you do not understand something, you need to stop me and tell me you don’t understand. If I ask if you’ve got it and you say you’ve got it but you don’t really have it, then it’s not my fault that you haven’t got it. Got it?”

“The important thing about having lots of things to remember is that you’ve got to go somewhere afterwards where you can remember them, you see? You’ve got to stop. You haven’t really been anywhere until you’ve got back home.”

“Play to your strengths.""I haven’t got any," said Harry, before he could stop himself."Excuse me," growled Moody, "you’ve got strengths if I say you’ve got them. Think now. What are you best at?”

“I’ve learnt that you’ve got to be really non-apologetic... You’ve got to say, ‘Hi, I’m here, can I have a cup of tea? And one of those biscuits?’ If you say that, it’s fine. If you go in and say, ‘Excuse me, I’m a transvestite, I’ll be in the corner, I won’t be a problem, I’ll face away,’ everyone will go, ‘Oh-oh, problem case in the corner.’ So don’t apologise.”

“It’s the principle of the thing, Jess . That’s what you’ve got to understand. You have to stop people like that. Otherwise they turn into tyrants and dictators.”

“What you’ve got to understand, son,” says the doctor, “is it’s all the fault of the alien space bats.”