“When I first entered the school, I was all set to tie my hair in a ponytail, get a fake tan, and write my homework in pink gel ink. I was prepared to hear girls bragging nonchalantly about the BMWs and diamond earrings they recieved for their birthday. I almost looked forward to hearing the flashlight-wielding nuns tell me to "leave room for the holy ghost" when I danced lewedly with messy-haired prep-school boys”

“feel Tobias brushing my hair back before the first simulation. I hear him telling me to be brave. I hear my mother telling me to be brave(...) I am brave.”

“You know how some kids get excited about the first day of school and have an outfit all picked out and a new lunch box and stuff? Well, they're bleeping idiots.Can we play hooky?" Iggy muttered as he scrambled eggs.Somehow I suspect they're picky about that," I said, dropping more bread into the toaster. "I bet they'd call Anne."I look like prep school Barbie," Nudge complained, as she entered the kitchen. She caught sight of me in my uniform and looked mollified. "Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just Barbie's friend."I narrowed my eyes at her.”

“One boy has it particularly hard. I won't tell you his name. But I will tell you all about him. He has very nice brown hair, and he wears it long with a ponytail. I think he will regret this when he looks back on his life.”

“I had my hair in a ponytail and looked my trademark exhausted.”

“It was at that moment that something bizarrely divine happened. Something I could have almost blown off if it hadn’t happened before my eyes. Two nuns walked in the door with their arms loaded down with packages. I’d never seen shopping nuns before, but it was all the sign I needed. “I want to go to school at Saint Catherine’s.” Mom gasped. “That all girls school?”“Yes.”“That Catholic school?”“Yes!” I continued looking at the nuns. One of them caught my eye, and she smiled. I returned her smile. Mom glanced over her shoulder. “Are you trying to tell me you want to become a nun? Because if you are, I’m taking you to the fucking hospital right now!”