“Can't you just see it? Can't you see us with gray hair, sitting at those late night football games. I'll be the dad with one eye on my football playing sons, and the other on our daughter, who if she looks anything like you, I will need to carry a gun to fight off all of those horny teenage boys.”

“I've never really liked the Yanks. ... You can't trust people who pick up the ball all the time when they play football.”

“I can't explain it, Ash. I look at you and I just can't look away. I look at you and even though I see all of the sadness and pain that you carry, what I really see is a beautiful soul buried beneath it. A beautiful soul who desperately wants to be happy. Who I want to make happy, more than anything else in the world....I, I can't explain it, I just want to fix that for you.”

“Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent. ”

“I certainly didn't want to fight with him. I did, however, want to shout, "Listen, you son of a bitch, life isn't all a goddam football game! You won't always get the girl! Life is rejection and pain and loss" -- all those things I so cherishly cuddled in my slef-pitying bosom. I didn't, of course, say any such thing”

“Look, girls and boys are different. Girls like to be touched twenty times a day in a nonsexual way to feel good about themselves - that is why I tickle you and link arms with you - but boys think about sex, snogging and football, and also snogging whilst playing football. Simple.”