“Warning, When I'm An Old Woman, I Shall Wear Purple!”

“When I am old I shall wear midnight.”

“When I am an old woman I shall wear purple with a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves and satin sandles, and say we've no money for butter.I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bellsAnd run my stick along the public railingsAnd make up for the sobriety of my youth.I shall go out in my slippers in the rainand pick flowers in other people's gardensAnd learn to spit.You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fatAnd eat three pounds of sausages at a goOr only bread and pickle for a weekAnd hoard pens and pencils and beer mats and things in boxes.But now we must have clothes that keep us dryAnd pay our rent and not swear in the streetAnd set a good example for the children.”

“I grow old … I grow old … I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.”

“I started zipping up my pants when something occurred to me. "I'm wearing a purple thong." "You're wearing a purple thong?" Jack raised an eyebrow, but since I was drunk, I couldn't read on his emotions. I didn't know if it was an intrigued I'd-like-to-see-more eyebrow, or a disapproving you're-a-huge-slut eyebrow. "Yeah. Wanna see?”

“But maybe I ought to practise a little now?So people who know me are not too shocked and surprisedWhen suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.”