“At 17, all I wanted was to be a famous junky. Like all my heroes.”

“All I knew was, my Father was famous for being a loser, and a loser that wanted nothing to do with me, since the day I was born.”

“The thing is, all my heroes were junkies. Lenny Bruce, Keith Richards, William Burroughs, Miles Davis, Hubert Selby, Jr... These guys were cool. They were committed. They would not have been caught dead doing an ALF episode.”

“Aphros nodded, a glint of pride in his eyes. “We have trained all the famous mer-heroes! Name a famous mer-hero, and we have trained him or her!”“Oh, sure,” Leo said. “Like…um, the Little Mermaid?”Aphros frowned. “Who? No! Like Triton, Glaucus, Weissmuller, and Bill!”“Oh. ”Leo had no idea who any of those people were. “You trained Bill? Impressive.”

“All I wanted to do was be a hero... But do I ever get to be a hero? All I ever get to be is the stupid goat!""Don't be discouraged, Charlie Brown... In this life we live, there are always some bitter pills to be swallowed...""If it's all the same with you, I'd rather not renew my perscription!”

“When I was an adolescent I wanted to be a Jew, a Bolshevik, black, homosexual, a junkie, half-crazy, and--the crowning touch-- a one-armed amputee, but all I became was a literature professor.”