“And then, anger gave way to pure and simple job satisfaction. I mean, when I looked at a dead zombie head on a spike, I thought, "Hey, I did that. Picasso would have been proud. Especially how I rearranged that eye”

“I went all kung fu on his zombie ass.”

“I stared at him. "David, that's prison movies, not zombie movie.”

“I stopped as I thought of poor Jack on my bathroom floor, just another victim of Dr. Phil.”

“Balance the world in your relationship. No one person should be responsible for killing ALL the Zombies.”

“Address one issue at a time.You can't load gasoline, pick up food, AND kill fifteen zombies at once”

“So you killed him with what now?""I tried that Dr. Phil book at first"..."And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy.”