“Hi I'm Jesse”

“The Jesse Duplantis Counseling Program:Admit it...Quit it...and Forget it...NEXT!!!”

“Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,I'm a little bit scared of what comes after. Do I get the gold chariot? Do I float through the ceiling?”

“I speak my mind. If it offends some people, well, there's not much I can do about that. But I'm going to be honest. I'm going to continue to speak my mind, and that's who I am...”

“I'm an elephant today. I will need to have lots of room and also a bowl of water on the floor.”

“Look at me, you chatty bitch, I'm a goddamn pinata! Fuck off and let me sleep before I puke up a kidney on your slutty leather pants!”

“One mistake can cause everything or may I say someone special :-(”