“Beauty belongs to the beloved who returns the gaze, in whose eyes we see the sun. But in this . . . beauty, in the mutual gaze, also lies the beginning of terror --awe, idealization, overstimulation, violation, loss.”
In this quote, Jessica Benjamin explores the complex relationship between beauty and the act of being seen by another. She suggests that true beauty exists in the reciprocal gaze between two individuals, where one is beloved by the other. However, she also acknowledges that within this beauty lies the potential for negative emotions such as terror, awe, and loss. Benjamin highlights the idea that being truly seen and acknowledged by another can be both fulfilling and terrifying, as it opens up the possibility for idealization, violation, and ultimately, the fear of losing that connection. This quote delves into the intricate dynamics of relationships and the vulnerability that comes with mutual recognition and appreciation.
In Jessica Benjamin's quote, she highlights the intricate connection between beauty and terror in human relationships. This duality of emotions and experiences can be seen in various aspects of modern life, such as social media, where the gaze of others can bring both admiration and anxiety. By understanding this dynamic, we can better navigate the complexities of our relationships and interactions with others.
In her writing, Jessica Benjamin delves deep into the complexities of beauty, exploring how it can evoke not only feelings of admiration and love, but also fear and vulnerability. She posits that true beauty lies in the mutual gaze between the beloved and the beholder, where both awe and terror can be experienced simultaneously.
As we reflect on the quote by Jessica Benjamin, it raises some important questions about the intricate relationship between beauty, admiration, and fear. How do our perceptions of beauty change when we realize that it is intertwined with vulnerability and potential harm? How does the act of gazing upon something or someone we find beautiful create a sense of power dynamics and emotional complexities? In what ways does our desire to possess beauty or be admired for our beauty lead to feelings of awe, violation, and loss? Take a moment to ponder on these questions and consider how they shape our understanding of beauty and the complexities it entails.
“In the most common fantasy of ideal love, [...], a woman can only unleash her desire in the hands of a man whom she imagines to be more powerful, who does not depend upon her for his strength. [...] The boundedness and limits within which one can surrender, and in which one can experience abandonment and creativity, are sought in the ideal lover. (p. 120)”
“[T]he psychoanalytic process should be understood as occurring betweensubjects rather than within the individual. Mental life is seen from an intersubjective perspective. Although this perspective has transformed both our theory and our practice in important ways, such transformations create new problems. A theory in which the individual subject no longer reigns absolute must confront the difficulty each subject has in recognizing the other as an equivalent center of experience…”
“All that is bad and dreaded is projected into the other, and all the anxiety is seen as the product of external attack rather than one's own subjective state . . . [which] the fear of the other's omnipotence as well as the need to retaliate by asserting one's own omnipotence.”
“Now, when he touches me, I feel nothing but Eio, pure and whole and constant. Now, when I look into his eyes, I don't see death- but eternity. For the first time in my life, I am looking into someone's gaze and realizing that not only do I understand what's in his eyes... he understands whats in mine.”
“It is cruel, you know, that music should be so beautiful. It has the beauty of loneliness of pain: of strength and freedom. The beauty of disappointment and never-satisfied love. The cruel beauty of nature and everlasting beauty of monotony.”
“Beauty and grace command the world.”