“Normal people can become very annoying if put in annoying situations.”

“I put my arms around your waist and pull you in, holding you, letting you know I’m with you. I tell you that you can do this, that you’re strong enough and brave enough. I tell you that you can do anything. So you nod and agree to jump.”

“I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else. It's the way I take them OFF that makes me better than you.”

“She'll need to see another goddamn place, then, because the roaches have unionized and put a stop to further negotiations regarding new tenants. Also, I think I smell a dead body.”

“I bet it’s easy for you,” Celeste said, as she examined her fingers and toes.“What? Flirting?” “Yes.” “Depends. There’s flirting,” Julie said, jokingly pushing her chest out, “and then there’s flirting.” She tapped the side of her temple. “It’s the second one that’s hard because you’re putting more of yourself out there.”

“At least I'm not a font nerd.""A what?"Matt smiled. "You know. People who love fonts. There are people who go to a movie and get agitated because, while the movie is supposed to be set in 1962, the restaurant awning shown in the background of some scene is printed in Arras Bold, which wasn't invented until 1991, so clearly the producers of the movie are insane and should be beheaded.”

“You can look back now and see how you should have known, but you were focusing on the facts instead of the feeling.”