“i choose not to get mad over things I can't control”

“I brush her hair back from her forehead. "You need to stop worrying about everything that can't be controlled." She signs and leans away from my hand, "That's just it, though. It's all I can think about anymore. It's like this fixation I have no control over which makes no sense because Im fixated on controlling the uncontrollable." She's breathing wildly. Shit. I need to calm her down.”

“I often wonder what drives people to do things. Whether it's put into their minds at birth, or if it is learned as they grow. Maybe it's even forced upon them by circumstances that are out of their hands. Does anyone have control over their lives or are we all helpless?”

“We have no control over fate and history, but we can control how we conduct ourselves in this life.”

“Karma comes after everyone eventually. You can't get away with screwing people over your whole life, I don't care who you are. What goes around comes around. That's how it works. Sooner or later the universe will serve you the revenge that you deserve.”

“People say that rape is not sex, that it's violence," Lucy says, bitterly. "But it's also sex. You can't get around that," she says. "he didn't run me over with a car. He had sex with me. You're not supposed to do that. You're not supposed to have sex with an eighth-grader. You're not supposed to have sex when you're in eighth grade. It was very intimate. You can't get around it. This part of the body," she says, gesturing from her heart to her lower abdomen, though I understand she means to indicate her vagina. "If you're sitting around with a group of women, talking about various traumas, someone will say, I got beaten by my mother. But if you say, I got raped, it's a different thing."I wonder if that is true. Is rape really the worst sort of violation? I'm not sure. I often wonder why it matters whether we're penetrated or not. There is the pain, but the pain doesn't last. The shame does.”

“Kissing you is.. I tried so had for so long to deny myself. I tried to do tho right thing. But ever since we kissed on your birthday I knew once i started I'd never be able.. even through we can't..”