“If you're on a plane and the person in front of you starts slowly tilting to one side, it means he's letting out a fart. Take cover!”

“One of the advantages of having an imaginary boyfriend is that he exists only for you, therefore he can not be stolen. The disadvantage is that you can not introduce him to your friends.”

“You can not make someone love you. You can not be thin enough or white enough or famous enough. The choice is entirely the other person's. Then again, you might try hypnosis.”

“Repeat after me: “I am a goddess. I am a goddess. I am a goddess.” Make this your mantra. From constant repetition you will start believing it, and if you yourself are convinced of your goddesshood, other people will be convinced.”

“That's the thing about a great book. Every time you read it, it's different, because you're different. You've changed since the last time you picked it up, things have happened to you.”

“There's nothing wrong with self-improvement, as long as you recognize that at some point you're going to have to accept yourself in all your imperfect glory. What's wrong with liking yourself the way you are?”

“People who read books in public places are regarded with suspicion because they appear self-sufficient. When you seem self-sufficient, other people think that you think you're better than them, and they get resentful.”