“Jealousy is like wasabe—a little can add excitement to your salmon sashimi but too much can make you cry and trigger facial contortions. I find it very flattering if someone is jealous of me. It is an affirmation that I am hot and spectacular. It is a confirmation of my value and importance. Yes, I am vain.”

“Too often I am jealous and my jealousy leads me to say things-things-that I regret.”

“Thank you seems like too little...or maybe too much, since he couldn't possibly understand how much I needed to hear what he just said. How much I needed to know that even without my ability, I am someone worth knowing. That every little and ridiculous quality I exhibit makes me who I am.”

“Rather than fall completely under his spell, she huffed, “I should like to see you submissively fond of your wife. Given your professed opinions, I cannot expect much fondness from you as a husband, can I?”   “Fondness, yes. Ridiculous, romantic, calf-eyed love, no, you may not,” he confirmed. “But when I am fond, Bess, I am very fond.”

“I am jealous of anyone who can make other people care so much.”

“I'm jealous of her. Can you be jealous of your mom for being able to handle things? I couldn't take a day off, take a dog to the vet, and cook dinner. That's like three times too much stuff for me to get done in one day. How am I ever going to have my own house?”