“Never, ever point out that a woman is eating too much.”

“Jealousy is like wasabe—a little can add excitement to your salmon sashimi but too much can make you cry and trigger facial contortions. I find it very flattering if someone is jealous of me. It is an affirmation that I am hot and spectacular. It is a confirmation of my value and importance. Yes, I am vain.”

“Sometimes I wonder if, instead of falling madly in love, we should aspire to fall sanely in love. But then, what would be the point?”

“If you are honest with yourself, your life will be so much more pleasant.”

“There's nothing wrong with self-improvement, as long as you recognize that at some point you're going to have to accept yourself in all your imperfect glory. What's wrong with liking yourself the way you are?”

“Once you’ve read too many trashy best-sellers, you begin to look for something with substance, something that attempts to define the universe.”

“There are limits to self-improvement. Inevitably you hit the point where what you are is, well, what you are, and all the teach-yourself videos and easy-to-use equipment on those creatinous home TV shopping things can no longer ward off you confrontation with your self.”