“The more "normal" the person seems, the sicker she probably is.”

“...it may rain or it may shine, probably at the same time. (Lamentations 5:23)”

“The truth is, the more one knows about Art, the more one values Entertainment.”

“Everyone declares that love is irrational, and yet everytime this statement is proven correct, they profess amazement. They seem to assume that love will make an exception in their case. It never does.”

“If you're on a plane and the person in front of you starts slowly tilting to one side, it means he's letting out a fart. Take cover!”

“You can not make someone love you. You can not be thin enough or white enough or famous enough. The choice is entirely the other person's. Then again, you might try hypnosis.”

“If you are honest with yourself, your life will be so much more pleasant.”