“What does not kill you will make you stronger and more cynical.”

“Being good does make a difference. You will not receive praise or payment for it, and other people will mistake your goodness for weakness, but it resonates among people you won't even meet.”

“Greasy food might not be good for your body, but it does wonders for the soul. A healthy diet may prolong your life, but what would you have to live for? What is the point of living to a hundred if you have to subsist on bland food? One may as well die of boredom.”

“Someday you will look back on all the awful stuff that's happening to you, and fondly smile. Doesn't say much about the future, does it?”

“You can not make someone love you. You can not be thin enough or white enough or famous enough. The choice is entirely the other person's. Then again, you might try hypnosis.”

“If you are honest with yourself, your life will be so much more pleasant.”

“Everyone declares that love is irrational, and yet everytime this statement is proven correct, they profess amazement. They seem to assume that love will make an exception in their case. It never does.”