“Chocolate fends off all kinds of nasty stuff. And if you get hungry while warding off evil, you have a snack. It's multipurpose equipment.”

“There are limits to self-improvement. Inevitably you hit the point where what you are is, well, what you are, and all the teach-yourself videos and easy-to-use equipment on those creatinous home TV shopping things can no longer ward off you confrontation with your self.”

“Not many songs can fend off evil. But the right song with the right voice can be a weapon; anyone who's listened to music through headphones while riding the subway or plowing angrily through a rush-hour sidewalk knows how it can and separate you from them, allows you to say to the teeming masses that you are this and they are that.”

“If you close your emotions off so the bad stuff can't get in. You make it so the good stuff can't get in either.”

“I shouldn't have come," I said."Of course you should've. Otherwise I'd be fending off advances from Mrs. Stone.”

“I have to admit I’m not real sure you being equipped to scrape her off at the drop of a hat fills me with joy.” “I get that, Tab. What you don’t get is, she isn’t you.”