“The battle of good and evil reduced to a fat woman standing in front of a chocolate shop, saying, Will I? Won’t I? in pitiful indecision.”

“I won’t ever walk out on my woman, not even if she gives me Gatorade and says I’m good to go.”

“I know there are evil things in this world. The trick is to notice them when they are standing right in front of you.”

“I realized after I got Jesus, I'd marry "that good woman who put me right with the Lord, got me away from the bottle and taught me what life is really all about." Which was to say, some church girl that resembles a pile of loose fat upholstered with pale goopy skin, and whose whole life is chocolate cake and visiting her sister.”

“Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat.”

“I don‟t feel awkward at all.”“Don‟t you?”“No. I‟m Daniel Fucking Cross.”I stopped and leaned against a shop front. “Oh. Well.” I drew in a deep breath. “Good. Good.”