“I swore to myself I would never be that guy, the guy who loses his shit for the first pretty face he sees. And yet my shit was truly lost.”

“Jesus "...It sounds like these guys would be filed under Assholes Who do Evil Shit in My Name.”

“I call it the Pretty Paradox. Pretty girls always want guys who treat them, and most everyone else, like complete shit. It is perhaps one of the most baffling phenomena of history."---Cullen”

“And then the Jamaican guy pulls out the sauce. "It be opening doors to other worlds, mon," he days. We made him do it first, saw that he didn't die. It seemed to make him pretty happy and then - Dave, the guy, I know I didn't really see this, but the guy shrunk himself, made himself three feet tall. We all laughed our asses off, then he was back to normal again.'And you still tried that shit?'Are you kidding? How could I not?”

“I watched as he comprehended what it was that he saw on my face, in my eyes. And I watched as a part of him shut down, locked away from me forever. And I hid the fact that my heart was breaking even as I lied to him, even as I broke his. And I swore I would never let him know otherwise, or I would truly be lost and the war would be over.”

“Jesus was a good guy, he didn't need this shit.”