“Crying is almost totally avoidable if you follow two simple rules: 1. Don't care too much. 2. Shut up.”

“Also, I feel that crying is almost--like, aside from deaths of relatives or whatever-- totally avoidable if you follow two very simple rules: 1.Don't care too much. 2. Shut up. Everything unfortunate that has ever happened to me has stemmed from failure to follow one of the rules.”

“I don't really understand the point of crying. Also, I feel that crying is almost- like, aside from deaths of relatives or whatever- totally avoidable if you follow two very simple rules: 1. Don't care too much. 2. Shut up. Everything unfortunate that has ever happened to me has stemmed from failure to follow one of the rules.”

“But nothing violates the rules of shutting up and not caring so much as flirting - except possibly for that enchantingly horrible moment when you act upon the flirting, that moment where you seal your heartbreak with a kiss.”

“scapegoat, n.I think our top two are:1. Not enough coffee.2. Too much coffee.”

“As far as I can tell, there are two basic (kissing) rules: 1. Don't bite anything without permission. 2. The human tongue is like wasabi: it's very powerful, and should be used sparingly.”

“by saying you don't care if the world falls apart, in some small way you're saying you want it to stay together, on your terms.”