“Children's hospitals are not designed for teenagers.”

“Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.”

“Children worked in the mills: "I will always believe that children are designed for green meadows and play, not for factories and cotton dust.”

“When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”

“Lunatics are similar to designated hitters. Often an entire family is crazy, but since an entire family can't go into the hospital, one person is designated as crazy and goes inside. Then, depending on how the rest of the family is feeling that person is kept inside or snatched out, to prove something about the family's mental health.”

“There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.”